50 Item List of Helpful Marriage Similarities

(From Finding the Love of Your Life, by Dr. Neil Clark Warren)


Discuss the each of the following openly with your partner. Ask yourselves, “Are we similar in ….”  or  “Do we have similar views on….”


  1. Socio-economic background of family
  2. Intelligence
  3. Formal education
  4. Verbal skills
  5. Expected roles for both persons within marriage
  6. Views about power distribution within the family
  7. Desired number of children
  8. When a family should be started
  9. Child rearing views
  10. Political philosophy
  11. Views about smoking, alcohol and drugs
  12. Amount of involvement with in-laws
  13. Sense of humor
  14. Punctuality
  15. Dependability
  16. Desire for verbal intimacy and ability to be intimate
  17. The role of conflict and how to resolve it
  18. The way to handle anger
  19. How friendships with the opposite sex should be handled
  20. Expected amount of privacy and rules for its use
  21. Level of ambition
  22. Life goals
  23. Attitudes about weight
  24. Religious and spiritual beliefs and preferences
  25. Amount of church involvement
  26. Family spiritual involvement
  27. Hobbies and interests
  28. Type of music enjoyed
  29. Energy level for physical activities
  30. Sexual drive and sexual interests
  31. Amount of income to be spent and saved
  32. How money should be allocated (clothes, vacation, etc.)
  33. Amount of money to be given away and to whom
  34. Degree of risks to be taken with investments
  35. Attitudes about cleanliness—house, clothes, body, etc.
  36. Ways of handling sickness
  37. Health standards—when to see a doctor
  38. Interpersonal and social skills
  39. Amount and type of social involvement preferred
  40. Geographical area in which to live
  41. Size and style of house
  42. Type of furniture and decoration
  43. Amount and type of travel preferred
  44. How to spend vacations
  45. How to celebrate major holidays
  46. How much time to spend together
  47. When to go to sleep and get up
  48. Temperature of home during the day and night
  49. Activity during meals
  50. Television programs preferred